By Halle Johnson

When Ibraheem, a young African-American/Nigerian father, first received his son Ayden’s Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) diagnosis and began his Early Intervention journey, he was not really sure what to expect. While he had some ideas about ASD and certainly had goals he wanted his son to meet, Ibraheem also had a few concerns and questions regarding how he and his partner were going to work and build relationships with their EI providers. Ibraheem’s fears about things like judgment and differing ideas, combined with a strong desire to see his child succeed and thrive, are common for any new parent. In addition to these feelings, Ibraheem had the added pressure of being an Black man inviting essentially random White women into his home. Through his personal experiences, Ibraheem felt like he did not live in a very good neighborhood. He was concerned that the EI providers would feel unsafe coming to do home visits. With all these combined stressors, it is easy to understand why Ibraheem and his partner had varying expectations going into Early Intervention.

Ibraheem was matched with a provider who clearly cared about putting these sorts of worries at ease, as well as being someone he was able to form a more friendly relationship with. Ibraheem introduced himself to the providers using an easier to pronounce Americanized nickname. After seeing his name listed as Ibraheem on the IFSP and hearing his partner call him Ibraheem, Megan asked Ibraheem which name he preferred. Ibraheem shared that he preferred being called Ibraheem but so many people mispronounced it, that he often just used the Americanized nickname instead. She asked about the correct pronunciation of his Nigerian name, citing that it was “super easy!” for her to use, as opposed to the Americanized one he typically went by. Within this first interaction, Megan was able to find a small way to show Ibraheem that she respected his culture and set the tone for how their meetings may go.

Eventually, in their time together, Megan and Ibraheem began talking about their everyday lives and discovered that they both enjoyed the same novel/TV series, Game of Thrones. While a popular TV series may seem like a silly connection to make, it allowed casual, friendly conversation to form between the provider and parent, as well as offer a segue into a bit more of a comfortable relationship. Within this particular experience, Ibraheem reflected on how it brought Megan, his partner, and himself together as a group because he had been trying to convince his partner to get into the series. After experiences like these, Ibraheem began to feel a bit more relaxed around Megan and in turn, was able to communicate Ayden’s progress and needs within their sessions more effectively.

Despite the sort of cultural mismatch, Megan, being a White woman living in a different part of town, and Ibraheem, being a Nigerian immigrant, the rapport that built off that first interaction led to more discussion and eventually finding common ground in something we are all fairly familiar with –popular culture. Popular culture, in this case, a TV show, is a light-hearted way to discover a family’s interests and develop a deeper overall connection with someone you may originally believe you have “nothing” in common with.

Questions for Reflection

1. Megan and Ibraheem were able to use something as simple as a TV show to form a deeper connection. What are some popular things in today’s culture that might be an effective way to open up a more casual conversation?
2. Although Megan was able to pronounce Ibraheem’s Nigerian name easily, there may be a situation where a name or word from the family’s home language is difficult for you to pronounce. What are some respectful ways to address your challenges in learning to pronounce a name or word?
3. Through the conversations about the Game of Thrones novels, Megan discovered that Ibraheem loves to read all kinds of books and was looking forward to being able to read some of his childhood favorite books to Ayden. How could Megan apply this knowledge about Ibraheem to her interactions with him?
4. Ibraheem shared that his past interactions led him to be a bit wary of whether or not the EI providers would show genuine interest and value in the things about Nigerian culture. As an EI provider, what are some things you can do to eliminate these fears from parents whose culture you still have a lot to learn about?